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Posted by adam.dada on February 6th, 2006
As I mentioned in “What is a Man”, the most common form of Man is the chicken. I honestly believe that 4 out of 5 in the U.S. fall into this category. I myself was within this group for the first 16-17 years of my life.
How do you know if you are, too?
Do you have female friends who are “just friends”? Do you tend to take orders at your place of employ and rarely give orders? Do you always accept a price for a product or service and never haggle? Do you tend to believe what you are told and rarely question the desires of others?
In terms of dating, being the chicken is almost as bad as being the vulture. This type of Man often hears “Why can’t my boyfriend be just like you?” or “I won’t date you as I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Ouch. If you’ve heard these lines, you’re there, friend.
As I’ve previously mentioned, all relationships that are to be considered successful can be rated a success when one simple fact is met: both parties walk away from each relationship transaction with a personal profit. Profit does not mean financial profit, it could be emotional, spiritual, financial or physical. A grandparent shares joy with a grandchild — they both profit in the enhanced emotional outcome. But if a grandparent has to put up with a pure evil grandchild, the transaction might not be profitable for the grandparent in any way. This is how family relationships fall apart — one party invests (time, emotions, money) and the other party takes advantage.
The chicken-Man seem to always be at the disadvantage, and they constantly try to convince themselves that they’re happier because they’re willing to give instead of take. The biggest myth I think we see in male society is that it is wrong to walk away ahead from any transaction — we have to accept every price, give rather than receive and put up with bad managers, bad girlfriends and bad customer service. When we watch movies or television, the average Man on TV is the epitome of a chicken-Man, and they’re always successful. The sweet guy gets the girl in the end, the nice guy becomes the boss, the gentle guy beats the evil villain. This is not how life works, though, as the sweet guy ends up alone on Friday night, the nice guy stays the employee and the gentle guy gets walked all over and send home packing.
Breaking yourself of the chicken moniker is actually a very easy process, one that requires gauging what would make every relationship transaction profitable for you — and profitable for the other party. The big problem is figuring out what the other party really needs instead of what they say they need. Just as a car dealer won’t show you his true invoice price, you have to know what every person you’re dealing with really wants and needs. When it comes to women, their secret desire is a complete 180 from what you’ve been told all your life.
This site is now part of the Global Unanimocracy Network.
May 25th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
[…] Until about a decade ago, I had been a great example of the chicken-Man: meek, shy, intimidated, and confused. I had accepted the socially acceptable line about what women wanted and how a man is supposed to offer it, and my success in the world of dating was not just sub-par but almost non-existant. I was starting to grow in success in my business life, but looking back, I really wasn’t doing all that well. […]
May 26th, 2006 at 6:55 am
[…] In the early dating stages, it is very important to watch for these issues. Recall that I believe that women love to talk and you should let them do the talking. This doesn’t mean that she is self-centered, though, as women are better talkers than men, and it is one of their greatest needs. Most women love to gab, so we have to put that under their “need” column. On the other hand, the talking-need is in regards to one-on-one talking with their man (or their girlfriends). If you’re in public and she embarrasses you by cutting you off, putting you down or not letting you talk in the first place, she’s got major control issues that over time will become worse and worse. Once a woman gets control of her man, the fall comes quickly and he becomes a chicken-Man. We’re supposed to be in control of our actions and be able to be convincing, headstrong and aware of our needs. When she controls you, none of these can be true. The chicken-Man is the un-Man, and you don’t need a woman to put you there since most of us guys start there for the first stage of our life. […]
September 26th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Women have a very hard time believing that most men really don’t want to be friends more than anything else because women need a whole lot of friends, so the thought that some friends are dispensible is unthinkable. Giving up a friend to take a chance at a romance to a woman is like giving up lunch every day to take a chance at a free instructional DVD at the end of the year. Not happening! That’s why we women don’t usually want to consider dating a friend. If you thing more like we do, be friends and be happy about it. Don’t throw it away for a chance to reveal your ignorance by asking us out. If you want “something else”, say so in the first place. It’s not a good boy/ bad boy issue. You are no longer a boy. It’s an honest adult/ lying adult issue. The answer will be “No” about 99 to 99.999% of the time. But these odds greatly beat the odds of getting what you want if you insult and disappoint her by pretending to e a friend. Women are pack animals and we will not love anyone for faking pack membership.