|
Posted by adam.dada on March 8th, 2006
As I said in yesterday’s article, the main virtue of the perfect Man is determination. Becoming determined is not a hard process, but it does require a different look on life in general. The typical man (what I call the chicken) has three attributes that prevent him from being seen as a determined individual:
1. He is skeptical about others and himself.
2. He is insecure about others and himself.
3. He is doubtful about others and himself.
Many guides to becoming a powerful man ignore the “others” part of the typical man; this is a very big mistake.
I’ve helped quite a few men in recent months overcome this blind spot. When a man addresses any relationship and is skeptical about the other party, it is easily visible and allows the other party to take advantage of the situation by using the skepticism in their favor. When a man is insecure about the other party, it gives that other party the ability to become more secure even if they didn’t initially feel that way. When a man doubts the other party’s motives or abilities, it makes the other party more powerful by letting them show even less of their cards.
When a determined man addresses any relationship (love, business, friendship), he needs to understand exactly what the other party is capable of and what they want. Instead of being skeptical about their motives, he needs to think deep about what is the most they’ll desire. Instead of being insecure about the other party, he needs to realize that they are insecure even if they aren’t showing it. Instead of doubting the other party’s intentions, he needs to see what the realities are and what he can do to give himself the best position in the relationship for himself.
Once the determined man sees the other party as the less determined of the two, only then can he look into his own flaws and shortcomings. Once you understand that the other party is skeptical about your motives, you can show just enough of your cards to give yourself an edge by being the more open side of the relationship. Once you understand that the other party is insecure, you can display a more secure attitude about your own goals without feeling guilty or egotistical. Once you see that the other party has some doubt about themselves and you, you can reduce your own doubt because you know you have the power (and the right) to walk away from the transaction or the relationship if the other party is attempting to abuse you.
Realizing that every relationship interaction has mutually beneficial possibilities gives you an added advantage. When you understand what the other party wants, needs and has to offer, you can show the other party that the interaction will be positive for them by showing them an understanding that you’re not in the relationship just to take advantage. The determined man sees the relationship clearly, and ascertains what the mutually beneficial outcomes can be. By reducing his own skepticism, doubt and insecurity, he can give himself the best chance to walk away from every interaction benefiting, while also making sure the other party gets some positive benefit as well.
Discuss this article here.
