Be A Man

I’ve covered one of my secrets to dealing with a woman you’re dating — the cliche of “communications is key.” In the initial few months of a relationship, it is the lack of communications that is key to developing your relationship and setting up a brighter future. Most women love to gab, even those who refuse to admit it. Men love to brag, and bragging is one of the quickest ways to turn off a women. That is why I recommend against doing any sort of talking other than turning their questions into reasons for them to talk more.

Yet it seems I still get e-mails from people who want to know what good conversation topics are, especially on first dates. I can’t think of anything that you can say that will make you more attractive in the eyes of a gal you like, but I can think of many things that can turn her off quickly.

1. Don’t talk about your job
2. Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriend
3. Don’t talk about your money situation
4. Don’t talk about your car
5. Don’t talk about your family
6. Don’t talk about your home or apartment
7. Don’t talk about your education
8. Don’t talk about your travels
9. Don’t talk about yourself
10. Don’t talk about your achievements
11. Don’t talk about her
12. Don’t talk about sex
13. Don’t talk about your pet peeves

So what do you talk about? As I’ve said before, the best conversation you can have is one that turns the talk back to her.

If she asks you about your job, the best answer is “I work in the ___ field and its pretty satisfying. What has your favorite job been?

If she asks you about your ex-girlfriend, the best answer is “Isn’t it amazing how relationships can change when life changes? Tell me about your best friend.”

If she asks you about your money situation, I recommend saying “I make enough to spend a little, save a little and travel a little. Have you seen any great sales or deals lately?”

If she asks you about your car, reply by saying “I drive a foreign/domestic car/truck. What’s your favorite car?”

If she asks you about your family, reply by saying “I’m glad I can make time to see my mom/dad/brother/grandma, who is your favorite family member that you spend the most time with?”

Get it? Every question should be answered vaguely with a smile, and turn it around on her. Let her gab, let her change topics, let her indulge her own needs. The less you answer about yourself and focus on yourself, the more mystique you build that will make her want to get to know you better. Some topics should be off-limits until you’ve made bigger commitments (do you want to have kids, do you want to live in the city or the burbs, what are your political leanings, etc). Some topics should be off-limits forever (what about your ex-girlfriend, do you have any fetishes, etc).

Conversation on the initial dates is very important — for her. The best thing you can do is smile, listen and turn the questions around. She likely has no real interest in your life (yet), but your lack of sharing every detail will set you apart from the guys she’s dated before. Most men can do nothing but brag about their cars, their clothes, their credit lines, their jobs and their ex-girlfriends. Don’t be like most men — be vague and bring mystique and the desire to know more into her mind. It might take her a dozen dates before she realizes that she really doesn’t know much about you, and that’s when you’ve got her desire for knowing you better at its peak.

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