Since rebirthing this site, I’ve started to receive more e-mails than ever before — thanks to StumbleUpon and other collaborative networks. I appreciate all your e-mails and questions, and even your criticisms and complaints.

Last week I received quite a few critical e-mails from both friends and people who were new to the site. The most common criticism is reports of men who told me that their relationships with their wives broke all the rules in the beginning, and their relationships are fine. I’d like to address these criticisms with my experience of dealing with women in my 18 years since becoming a man.

First of all, not all women are the same — absolutely not. The few friends who criticized me last week shared something with most of the readers who had the same criticisms: they were not dealing with what I call the modern woman. There is a difference between dealing with modern women and dealing with the woman who was raised with old-fashioned morals or thoughts on relationships.

The fastest answer in how to date, and even marry, a great woman is only go after those raise with old-fashioned morals. Yet this is not a good answer, because those women are becoming hard to come by, and even harder to date if you have taken on any modern man traits. The single men I am friends with are generally attracted to the modern woman — old-fashioned women come off as fuddy-duddy to them and uninteresting. The married man that I am friends with are almost all married to modern women, and every man I know who has been divorced in the past 10 years divorced from a modern woman.

For this site, I cover only the modern woman, not the old-fashioned one. If you are lucky enough to meet an old-fashioned gal, and you’re also one who finds attraction towards the older-ways, this site will absolutely, positively not be where you want to be. For the rest of us who prefer the moderm woman, the goals should be the same: build your confidence and your knowledge of the modern woman’s needs and desires, and you’ll do just fine, even better than if you didn’t know the basic rules of engagement.

Discuss this article at the be a man forum.

A few weeks back I was out with a friend of my brother’s, and he happened to be hitting on a cute gal he just met in a bar. I casually listened in to his conversation with her and made a bet with myself that he would end up without her number. I was right. He broke almost every rule that I set forth, but he also broke a rule I haven’t really covered before — don’t lie.

You’ll hear it from every “dating expert,” but few have good reason behind it. I’ll get past the first and most obvious reason why you shouldn’t lie to a woman:

1. Don’t lie because you’ll get caught. That’s pretty obvious. Memory is a finicky thing, and lying is never worth it — as you’ll read later on. But even knowing this obvious fact isn’t enough to prevent most of us from pushing the truth a little. What is amazing is that lying actually breaks some of my more esoteric rules I’ve mentioned before.

2. Don’t lie because you’re giving away too much information. That is a rule, if you recall — shut up. Talking too much and providing too much information about yourself too quickly is a sure way to drop her desire for you into the freezing temperatures. Whether you’re telling her the truth about your job or pretending you’re bigger than you are, it doesn’t matter — you’re talking too much. Yap, yap, yap sends you home without the phone number, maybe even without the name. Just meet the gal for the first time? Say hi, get her name, listen to her yap for 5 minutes. Get her number, move on! It isn’t that difficult, fellows.

3. Don’t lie because she’s not interested anyway. What do most guys lie about? Their jobs, their cars, their income, their previous dating career, their hobbies, their goals, their living situations. She’s not interested. You might think she is interested because you yourself would be interested in those facts, but you’re a guy. You might hear some of your gal pals brag about how much money their boyfriends make or how nice of a car they drive, but that isn’t what she really is interested in — she’s just bragging to friends. You could live at home with your parents, work at Wal*Mart as a janitor, drive an 87 Buick with rust, and she’d still brag to her friends by saying “He is so focused on the future and having a family, he gives up so much now so he’ll have more to share later!” That’s right, guys, she doesn’t care what you have, so why bother lying about it?

4. Don’t lie because she isn’t worth it. Lying to others can cause guilt in your heart and your mind. For those with religion or faith here, lying is considered a “sin” or an “evil” or whatever your particular religion calls it. For those without that faith, lying can make you feel bad — especially if your lies don’t attract her attention (and they generally won’t, unless she’s a golddigger). Whether or not you get her name and number, the lies you tell to get there will haunt you on some level. It isn’t worth the risk.

And my newest favorite reason not to lie is…

5. Don’t lie, she prefers average guys to the high-rollers. I didn’t believe it at first, but for years I’ve know that average guys are happier than guys who have way more. The guy with the great looks, the American Express Black Centurion Card, the $100,000 Lexus, the condo in Manhattan? They’re not that happy. Sure, they have so much wonderful stuff, but few of them have wonderful gals. Don’t believe me? The BBC concurs in an article titled “Why women fall for ‘Mr Average’.” For a while, I couldn’t figure out why my average friends had better luck than my “blessed” friends, until it struck me — these average guys will be better fathers and husbands for their wives. Sure, the golddigger girl wants the guy with everything, but why would you want her? Have you seen the mess that is left behind when a friend of yours dated (or married) a high-drama wants-everything girl? You know already that Little Miss Average would be Best Amazing Wife moreso than Hot Tall Skinny Blonde would, so doesn’t it makes sense that Little Mister Average would be a great husband? Of course, you don’t make those connections by default — women do.

So there you have it — 5 Reasons Not to Lie to a Woman. It isn’t that hard, once you know the rules and realize that lying actually violates some of the other rules, and it is a rule itself.

Discuss this article at the Be A Man forum