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Posted by adam.dada on November 14th, 2007
Zion, IL
By A.B. Dada
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I’ll get e-mails regularly by women who think that my views on being a man in dating are deceptive. They’re right.
I advocate many different deceptive techniques to enhance your chance of meeting a great gal in an ocean of choices for both sexes. Some of those techniques:
1. Fake confidence, which eventually builds into real confidence,
2. Fake interest level by showing less desire than you really have,
3. Be deceptively quiet in responding to her infrequent questions,
4. Avoid casual physical contact even though you are interested in doing so.
Yes, I do advocate some deceptive techniques — and I know from hundreds of men I’ve helped along that it works. What is irritating is that some women harbor anger towards these techniques, when it is the same women who are even more deceptive when dealing with men.
How many women wear make-up over men? There is nothing more shocking than seeing a gal sans makeup and hairdressing that overcompensates for any physical flaws by overdoing it in both departments. Women have entire markets dedicated to deception: bras that make them look more busty, dresses cut to accentuate certain details that their bodies don’t actually portray naturally, wigs and fake eyelashes, high heels, shoulder pads, accessories to draw attention (earrings, necklaces), clothing cuts that show more flesh than men would show.
Imagine a man who wears eyeliner, concealer, opens their shirt up completely, and wears cuts of clothing to accentuate a larger chest and smaller waistline. Other than rock stars, it just doesn’t happen.
While I do admit that deception is common in dating, and even part of my guide for insecure or low self-esteemed men, I don’t advocate lying or deceiving in areas where it counts. Instead of trying to find clothes that make you look slimmer or taller, I do believe that a man concerned with physical appearance can perform basic exercises and dietary changes to fix many problems. The great thing about most women is that they’re not as concerned with appearance, financial capability, and sexual prowess as the media makes them seem to be. It would take a calculator for me to count how many overweight, underheight, low income men I know who have wonderful girlfriends or wives. All it takes is being able to decipher the code of deception than is more common with women then men.
December 10th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Adam, I am a big fan of your writing and advice. It all makes sense. I am an officer in the military (Coast Guard) enrolled in Naval Flight School at present. One of my big problems was having confidence in taking the plane out on my own. The plane we fly costs millions of dollars, and if you screw someting up, it not only costs big money and your career, but also your life. I liked your advice on faking confidence. I had some very bad landings and lost all my confidence in my abilities right before one of my biggest flights, which was a test to certify me to fly solo. Without out confidence, I failed miserably, and was almost thrown out of flight school. I had one more chance to preform on a follow up flight with a high ranking (and scary) marine corps officer. If I failed, my career would be over. I decided to go out with this pilot and pretend I was the most confident pilot in the world. I met him, he asked me what I was having problems with, I told him my last few flights were just bad days, I am a great pilot and then we went and flew. It worked, I had a great flight (eventhought it was uncomfortable as all hell). After that day, I started flying better and better, and I am now back at the top of my class. I like your advice, it pertains to many situations in life. Fake confidence really dose build into real confidence. Now its just time to start taking this advice with the ladies. If you don’t mind, I have a quick question, you mention your book in several posts, yet I could not find it online. Did you write a book on dating or offering other advice that is available to the public?
February 5th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Hey there Dada. I’m a 27 year old web developer from GA. I haven’t gotten very far into checking out your site, but I’m intrigued. A friend of mine sent me a link because he liked your sound money ideas. (Neither he nor I would have cared about such a topic if not for the Ron Paul Revolution.) But then I noticed you also had a site on Dating.
I’ve been a pick-up artist for several years now. Faking confidence and doing things I dreaded having to do was how I got through the first couple years of learning this stuff. Eventually, those things I dreaded felt like opportunities. Then, it became a force of habit. Now, being out of the game because I landed the hottest chick in town, I have to fight myself from flirting with gorgeous women I would never have had the nerve to approach before.
I look forward to hearing more of your ideas. It sounds like we think alike on many levels.
And I would like to learn more about your thoughts on these two points: 3. Be deceptively quiet in responding to her infrequent questions, 4. Avoid casual physical contact even though you are interested in doing so.
Being a student of the Charisma Arts, I find that expounding on topics and feelings upon which you relate to a woman, as well as using “kino”, or touch, as a reward early and often are two of the most reliable tools in my arsenal.
Well, it’s time for me to go vote. It’s too bad we’ve using the Diebold Accuvote TS system, so my vote won’t count and can’t be recounted.
October 20th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I am looking for some idea and stumble upon your posting
decide to wish you Thanks. Eugene