A few weeks back I was out with a friend of my brother’s, and he happened to be hitting on a cute gal he just met in a bar. I casually listened in to his conversation with her and made a bet with myself that he would end up without her number. I was right. He broke almost every rule that I set forth, but he also broke a rule I haven’t really covered before — don’t lie.

You’ll hear it from every “dating expert,” but few have good reason behind it. I’ll get past the first and most obvious reason why you shouldn’t lie to a woman:

1. Don’t lie because you’ll get caught. That’s pretty obvious. Memory is a finicky thing, and lying is never worth it — as you’ll read later on. But even knowing this obvious fact isn’t enough to prevent most of us from pushing the truth a little. What is amazing is that lying actually breaks some of my more esoteric rules I’ve mentioned before.

2. Don’t lie because you’re giving away too much information. That is a rule, if you recall — shut up. Talking too much and providing too much information about yourself too quickly is a sure way to drop her desire for you into the freezing temperatures. Whether you’re telling her the truth about your job or pretending you’re bigger than you are, it doesn’t matter — you’re talking too much. Yap, yap, yap sends you home without the phone number, maybe even without the name. Just meet the gal for the first time? Say hi, get her name, listen to her yap for 5 minutes. Get her number, move on! It isn’t that difficult, fellows.

3. Don’t lie because she’s not interested anyway. What do most guys lie about? Their jobs, their cars, their income, their previous dating career, their hobbies, their goals, their living situations. She’s not interested. You might think she is interested because you yourself would be interested in those facts, but you’re a guy. You might hear some of your gal pals brag about how much money their boyfriends make or how nice of a car they drive, but that isn’t what she really is interested in — she’s just bragging to friends. You could live at home with your parents, work at Wal*Mart as a janitor, drive an 87 Buick with rust, and she’d still brag to her friends by saying “He is so focused on the future and having a family, he gives up so much now so he’ll have more to share later!” That’s right, guys, she doesn’t care what you have, so why bother lying about it?

4. Don’t lie because she isn’t worth it. Lying to others can cause guilt in your heart and your mind. For those with religion or faith here, lying is considered a “sin” or an “evil” or whatever your particular religion calls it. For those without that faith, lying can make you feel bad — especially if your lies don’t attract her attention (and they generally won’t, unless she’s a golddigger). Whether or not you get her name and number, the lies you tell to get there will haunt you on some level. It isn’t worth the risk.

And my newest favorite reason not to lie is…

5. Don’t lie, she prefers average guys to the high-rollers. I didn’t believe it at first, but for years I’ve know that average guys are happier than guys who have way more. The guy with the great looks, the American Express Black Centurion Card, the $100,000 Lexus, the condo in Manhattan? They’re not that happy. Sure, they have so much wonderful stuff, but few of them have wonderful gals. Don’t believe me? The BBC concurs in an article titled “Why women fall for ‘Mr Average’.” For a while, I couldn’t figure out why my average friends had better luck than my “blessed” friends, until it struck me — these average guys will be better fathers and husbands for their wives. Sure, the golddigger girl wants the guy with everything, but why would you want her? Have you seen the mess that is left behind when a friend of yours dated (or married) a high-drama wants-everything girl? You know already that Little Miss Average would be Best Amazing Wife moreso than Hot Tall Skinny Blonde would, so doesn’t it makes sense that Little Mister Average would be a great husband? Of course, you don’t make those connections by default — women do.

So there you have it — 5 Reasons Not to Lie to a Woman. It isn’t that hard, once you know the rules and realize that lying actually violates some of the other rules, and it is a rule itself.

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LAS VEGAS, NV

By A.B. Dada
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It’s a common question, and also a very common search phrase at Google — do short guys have a problem dating? It would seem so, according to some statistical websites, such as the Short Person Support site.¹ The site shows some interesting statistics — women seem to prefer taller guys. That site says that 8% of women who are 5′6″ would choose a shorter guy, and 13% of women 5′8″ woudl choose a shorter guy. But I know these statistics are wrong — I’m a shorter man (5′7″) and I definitely haven’t had problems dating. In reality, it isn’t the height of the man that is the problem, it is the attitude that comes along with most men, tall or short. While women may THINK they won’t date a short man (or a shorter man), in reality most women just won’t date an unconfident man. Why is it that short guys tend to not have confidence? Maybe they were raised with a fear that women won’t date them! It is a viscious circle — shorter guys fear that they won’t have luck with a certain woman, and their lack of confidence ends up showing that to be true. This leads that woman to believe she doesn’t like the guy because of his height, instead of realizing that he’s just not confident.

That IS a fact, in my experience. Women like confident men, but women tend to not realize it. I’ve met more confident tall men than short ones, but I have also met my share of terrible unconfident tall men. The few guys that are naturally confident just don’t realize that’s what they have that other guys don’t. A naturally confident man is much more attractive to women, even if he’s not physically special. Time and again do we see “ugly” guys with pretty women, and we figure it is because they have money or they have connections. What most people don’t see is that they’re confident — it is the confidence that got them the money and the connections. When you’re confident, you can attack tasks with a greater chance of success. A confident short man is much more likely to get a job at an interview. A confident short man is much more likely to be the center of attention at a party. A confident short man is much more likely to get a woman’s phone number and get that important first date. It has nothing to do with your height, it has everything to do with how much you believe in yourself, in your ability to communicate, in your ability to lock eyes with anyone at any time, in your ability to command respect without having an attitude or a mean streak.

If you’re short, don’t be down on your height — tallness can be a talent, but it can also be a weakness. Regardless of your looks, wealth, intelligence, sense of humor or even your height, get started on being confident in all that you have, and disregard all you don’t have. Dreams and fantasies about changing something unchangeable won’t work for you with the ladies, the bosses, the pals and the family — but being confident starting today will.

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