It is lately the most popular search topic that finds this site — and one of the most common questions I get asked by men I know who just can’t seem to convert a girl they like into a girl who likes them. Sometimes a guy will have been friends with a girl for months or years, and continue to wonder why she never showed interest in him. I get asked that a lot — “how can I make her love me?” The answer, unfortunately, is that you can’t.

Women, as a gender-whole, tend to size up a guy fairly quickly. I don’t think that most women do it consciously or with malice in mind, they just do it as a natural reaction. Most men would paw at a woman within 30 seconds of meeting her — most women also realize this, at least subconsciously. A woman is looking for certain characteristics that are specific to her wants or needs. Some women want a strong man, some want a rich man, some want a tall man, some want a good looking man — some women want all those traits and more! What is it that the woman you like wants or needs? It doesn’t really matter — she won’t get to know the real you until you start stepping forward right from the start in order to detect if she desires you as a boyfriend or just desires you as a casual friend. Some women love the puppy-dog friends: these guys will spend money on them with nothing in return; they’ll be great “night out” partners when no good guy is available; these men will listen to them whine for hours and hours on the phone and be consoling. Basically, these puppy-dog men are like their close girlfriends, but without the jealousy and catfighting.

So what is the solution if you’re the puppy-dog guy already? Erase her phone number. Burn it. Stop calling her. Stop fielding her calls. If she calls you repeatedly wondering why you won’t talk to her, be honest! Tell her that the relationship was too one-sided for you, and you’d rather put it behind you. MEAN IT. For some women, a puppy-dog man shutting her out becomes a challenge to her — she wants to be victorius over the guy she was always victorius over. When the puppy-dog man walks away, she feels like she lost, so she’ll find a way to win. Usually this happens by her seducing the puppy-dog who left, getting the victory, and then breaking his heart. Trust me, men, I see it all the time. If you are a puppy-dog in a guy-gal friendship that you want more out of, WALK AWAY. It is too late, there is no recource, no way to fix it.

Now a few regulars of this site will tell you that they DID turn a friend into a girlfriend or a wife — but the reality is that they may have already had some very specific traits shared between the two that made them NOT like the common man/woman out there. Maybe they shared a strong faith in religion, maybe they shared a strong ability to challenge and tease one another. Whatever the case, these stories are rare — less than 3%, maybe less than 1%.

When you meet a woman, size her up immediately. Notice a few things — does she aim her body at you when she talks? Does she smile? Does she keep her eyes on yours, or is she always looking around? Does she play with immaterial things that take her attention away from you? Some women will pretend to hold a conversation with you while texting to their dreamboat guy on their cell phones! WALK AWAY. Some women will turn their face to you, but aim their body away. WALK AWAY. Some women will face you, but constantly be looking around the room. WALK AWAY. These are the ones you’ll become the sucker puppy-dog friend for!

The woman who faces you, pays attention to you, smiles at you — she’s the one to consider. But don’t just act like a friend from the start — act like a man who is interesting and mysterious. Don’t be a goofball, be solid in what you say, and only say things you really mean. In fact, say things you mean, but say less than you’d normally say. This is a great way to pique the interested woman’s desire for you even higher — making her want to spend time with you, so she can “win” by getting to know you before you get to know her.

If you’re in a puppy-dog relationship, get out. If you’re in a few relationships, get out of all of them! It is too late to turn them into just friendships (crushes are hard to break, and some women will crush you back if you back-off a little!). Just walk. Work on your own confidence by starting at the top of this site.

Discuss this at the be a man forum.

LAS VEGAS, NV

By A.B. Dada
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It’s a common question, and also a very common search phrase at Google — do short guys have a problem dating? It would seem so, according to some statistical websites, such as the Short Person Support site.¹ The site shows some interesting statistics — women seem to prefer taller guys. That site says that 8% of women who are 5′6″ would choose a shorter guy, and 13% of women 5′8″ woudl choose a shorter guy. But I know these statistics are wrong — I’m a shorter man (5′7″) and I definitely haven’t had problems dating. In reality, it isn’t the height of the man that is the problem, it is the attitude that comes along with most men, tall or short. While women may THINK they won’t date a short man (or a shorter man), in reality most women just won’t date an unconfident man. Why is it that short guys tend to not have confidence? Maybe they were raised with a fear that women won’t date them! It is a viscious circle — shorter guys fear that they won’t have luck with a certain woman, and their lack of confidence ends up showing that to be true. This leads that woman to believe she doesn’t like the guy because of his height, instead of realizing that he’s just not confident.

That IS a fact, in my experience. Women like confident men, but women tend to not realize it. I’ve met more confident tall men than short ones, but I have also met my share of terrible unconfident tall men. The few guys that are naturally confident just don’t realize that’s what they have that other guys don’t. A naturally confident man is much more attractive to women, even if he’s not physically special. Time and again do we see “ugly” guys with pretty women, and we figure it is because they have money or they have connections. What most people don’t see is that they’re confident — it is the confidence that got them the money and the connections. When you’re confident, you can attack tasks with a greater chance of success. A confident short man is much more likely to get a job at an interview. A confident short man is much more likely to be the center of attention at a party. A confident short man is much more likely to get a woman’s phone number and get that important first date. It has nothing to do with your height, it has everything to do with how much you believe in yourself, in your ability to communicate, in your ability to lock eyes with anyone at any time, in your ability to command respect without having an attitude or a mean streak.

If you’re short, don’t be down on your height — tallness can be a talent, but it can also be a weakness. Regardless of your looks, wealth, intelligence, sense of humor or even your height, get started on being confident in all that you have, and disregard all you don’t have. Dreams and fantasies about changing something unchangeable won’t work for you with the ladies, the bosses, the pals and the family — but being confident starting today will.

Discuss this article at the Be A Man forum.